Olympic Luck Runs Dry

Its 3am In florence and im a bit tipsy so bear (mom, hope that bare is spelled the right way) with me as i attempt to do my best to humor the masses.

My first week in Torino at the olympics and Jen and I were on fire with luck. We scalped tickets to the opening ceremonies for 100 each (the cheapest ticket face value was 250). The first day we randomly went to speedskating and saw chad hendrick win the gold medal, he cried, we cheered. The second day we went to snowboarding. It was impossible to get a ticket and peole were paying 150 each but we found a guy who gave us two free tickets. Furthermore, we saw Shaun White, the flying tomato himself, win gold.

After the snowboard half pipe we skipped under a rope and were hanging out with the atheltes. We talked to Seth Wescott and Hannah Teter for a while. They were both super cool. I asked Hannah to make out with me because Im losing to jen by alot in the make out with people in europe contest and olympic atheltes are worth a bunch of points. She was like, maybe in your next life loser, but i got a picture with her and still wished her luck in her race. She won.

Seth was also awesome. His mom was giving him the third degree as it was the first time she had seen him and he was being real sweet. He was explaining snowboard cross to be for a few minutes and then we were talking about the olympics for awhile. Jen was too nervous to ask him to take a picture, and i had talked to him for too long to be a gay tourist, so we have no footage but it is a true story. He won gold a few days later.

Its cool to think that we met these normal people who now have an awesome medal and an awesome life because they won!

After going to florence we got back to Torino and went to curling. The USA won again and curling is amazing. My theory real quick, curling became an olympic sport because it gives any person the dream to belive they could have been an olympian. If somebody told me at the age of twleve, "litty, you are a lefty and have a slick glove but you cant hit for shit or find home plate from the mound with a magnifying glass". then i could have taken up curling right then and there and been on my way to becoming a famous athlete. Everybody who curls is from Bimidji, Minnesota. I got coordination. I sweep brooms. Littyhoops, the olympian.

Anyway, I also saw the USA beat Kazakstan. "In my country, we lose at hockey".

I thought i was on fire. I had only seen the USA win gold or win their match and we had scalped ticket for every event at below face value.

But then we went to skeleton, where the best usa guy was suspeneded for rogaine, and saw no USA medal. The next night we trield to go to short track speedskating and hockey and were shut out from both because their were absolutely no tickets. Luck runs dry.

On saturday we did end up going to the Budweiser "Club Bud" party. I was trying to get into this all week and thanks to Jen meeting some dude at skeleton we did get pases. For 10 minutes i thought it would be the greatest party ever but it ended up being pretty lame. My two highlihts

1) Meeting gold medal olympian kerri walsh. She was drunk as shit and I went up to her and told her she is my favorite volleyball player ever, even more thank Karch Kiraly. She goes bullshit and then says, you probably think my name is misty. I told her no, i love her, and she gave me a hug. Some other guy comes over and whispers something in her ear and she goes "ew, that is disgusting and im married". I tell her i would beat him up, she says its ok and gives me another hug. I lover her.

2) Bruce Beck is drunk as shit. He used to announce St. Johns games and do MSG sportsdesk. I go up to him and go, Bruce, you are my favorite announcer ever. I try to talk about Johhny hoops but he is too drunk to care. I ask him what he is doing her and he says that he is working for NBC New York. I go oh, give me your best "back to you Len". He gives me a look of defeat, and goes exactly. I keep on repeating "back to you len" and then jen starts saying it. He loves Jen. We take a picture together and then throw it back to len. Nothing happens so we throw it back to Len again and leave.


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